A dear friend of mine is somewhat incapacitated at present. He is non-ambulatory* and thus is – predictably – finding life a bit difficult. We at Dogshit Industries endeavor to be of assistance** to those less fortunate than ourselves….
07:30:21 <dogshit> how are you doing today? any better?
07:44:27 <buddy> nope
07:44:30 <buddy> still can’t dance
07:44:45 <dogshit> can you move your arms?
07:45:11 <buddy> yeah
07:45:24 <dogshit> good, then all is not lost – DRINK HEAVILY
07:45:33 <buddy> haha
07:45:34 <buddy> indeed
07:45:53 <dogshit> on the porch
07:46:01 <buddy> why the porch?
07:46:17 <dogshit> No need to hobble to the bathroom…just stagger to the rail and piss in the garden
07:46:34 <dogshit> logistics my friend…it all comes down to logistics
08:01:30 <buddy> haha
08:01:50 <buddy> I hear your words of wisdom come from years of experience
* Attention Fox News viewers: this means he can’t fucking walk, OK?
** Names have been changed to protect the innocent – if we find any, that is